Loss, Grief and Healing from the Perspective of a Pregnancy Center Employee.
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month. This month is a span of time where we can honor and remember the children lost through any cause during pregnancy or infancy such as miscarriage, stillbirth, or SIDS. Consider, before you continue, taking a moment of silence to honor the memories of those children and pray for the broken hearts of their parents.
I want to also take a moment here, to remember the children lost through abortion and to pray for the parents who encountered this loss.
The very nature of what we do at BRPC is a prayerful attempt to protect women and men from such a loss. We know that not everyone will come into the Center, encounter Jesus, then change their minds and choose life. We know all too well the feeling of following up with a patient – full of hope – only to be told, “I went to my abortion appointment,” or, “We decided to go through with the abortion.”
So, we check in, “Ok, and how are you feeling?” Usually the answer is, “fine” or “I feel like it was the right choice.”
The fact is, these women often really do feel that way. It is not a lie they are trying to convince themselves of. They feel relief that what they perceive as the most terrifying thing to happen to them is over.
Our advocates are amazing. They listen, they love, and when they hang up, they pray over these women. They grieve for the life that has been lost…there may not be anyone else who does.
Some women who have chosen abortion may never understand the value of their child. They may never understand the impact their abortion has made or will make on their lives. They may never grieve the loss of their baby.
But there are some women – like me – who look back on their abortion experience, and instead of seeing tissue, or “just a clump of cells,” they see their child. They see what could have been and the truth of what is.
Abortion is still very much a loss. And we at the Blue Ridge Pregnancy Center want to acknowledge each and every one of those losses.
As many of you wonderful donors, partners, and prayer warriors know, we launched our post-abortion healing program, Unhindered, at this year’s banquet. This ministry was born from my own experience of fear and brokenness that transformed into a redemption marked by the full-circle workings of the Almighty Father. During the healing process, women have the opportunity to grieve the loss of their child or children through abortion. They have the opportunity to name them and recognize the dignity that they may have overlooked during the time of the abortion(s).
Through various avenues of post-abortion healing ministry, I have seen women turn from shame, release their fear, and find forgiveness that brings lasting and abiding joy. I have seen women who wrestle with anger and hatred raise their hands and dance under the music of the Father’s love. I have seen them walk into a program with fear and frustration and walk out of the other side as if breathing easy for the first time. I, myself went into the healing process skeptical that God would have a place for me, but I left with a newfound resolve that women and men everywhere need this kind of freedom and closure.
I got to name my child; I got to have a memorial service for her. I get to remember her now without the shame and torment. And I get to honor and recognize her this month by bringing awareness to the pregnancy lost through abortion.
And, to any woman or man reading this who has an abortion in their past, your child deserves remembrance, and you deserve closure.
1 John 1:9 states, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
He will purify us from all unrighteousness. I was not the exception. You aren’t either. You have not “out-sinned” the forgiveness of God.
During October – Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month – we invite you into healing.
And, we honor and remember your aborted children.
- Jordyn Kingery, Center Manager